How does a caregiver become empowered and just what does that mean? Empowered may have different connotations for each of us, so I will give you my take on what it means as well as some tips to transform your caretaking journey.
Affirmations are a big part of my coaching, counseling, and teaching. In each of my newsletters, you’ll see an affirmation at the end. An affirmation is a statement that you repeat to yourself, it is something that you want to see in your life, you are working towards or you are already at that point and need reinforcement. When you repeat the affirmation after reading about it, the concepts, advice, or wisdom in the article are easier to recall. And as you continue to say an affirmation that is not yet part of your reality by reading it out loud, writing it, or any other manner, then you mold your attitude into that positive statement. Affirmations can turn any negative thinking around. That is actually one way to become empowered.
Empowerment is the focus of my book (title the same as this newsletter). Major concepts include:
- The first step is to face the “reality” of the journey you are on. That means you understand the illness of your family member and, you understand the treatments and the types of care that will be necessary for this person. This is not an easy place to be because you might still be searching for ways to change the trajectory or reverse the current situation in any way that you can. We never want to give up on hope. Accepting the reality of the situation just allows you to move beyond step one in feeling empowered.
While my book was written for adult children of aging parents, I find it has information that will help spousal caregivers and can also be a resource for older adults to give to their children for future reference.
- The second step in this journey is to get sound advice on planning, legal issues, community resources, medical interventions, caregiver support, and more. This is the more cerebral or cognitive information caregiving families need. They also need to know who and how to build a team of experts to guide or coach them on the journey. If you build such a team, then any time you have a worry, you go to the expert on your team that has the guidance you need.
If you have a legal issue, then you have an expert Elder Law Attorney. If you are concerned about the cost of care and planning, then you seek advice from a Financial Planner that can help you project and plan for care costs. When you are worried about behavioral issues, community resources, emotional support for yourself, housing choices, or government entitlements, you can seek out a Professional Geriatric Care Manager also known as an Aging Life Care Expert. The Care Manager becomes like a Sherpa, guiding you when you are faced with challenges often brought on by Alzheimer’s disease or end of life needs.
- The third and most important step is self-care for the primary caregiver. If you are not finding a balance between caring for another and yourself, both parties can suffer. Often the caregiver will have a serious health issue before the ill person dies or moves to a supportive living environment.
It is imperative and critical for family caregivers to find support – a group, class, therapist, geriatric care manager, or aging life care expert to resource. You cannot do this alone. You might want to, but this is a journey that can swallow you without support. Your family member needs you and you need support.
The Empowered Caregiver is filled with scripts for families to use. Often the issue is how a problem or a concern is approached. The book will give you actual words to use. These scripts will help with the practical issues of family care, but most of all they will give you the emotional support that you need for the journey.
Click here if you would like to purchase a copy of my book. It is my honor to be on the journey with so many caring families that just want the best for their family member and the ability to breathe and not feel stressed.
Affirmation: “I feel empowered because I know where I can find support.”
Resources:
Book: The Empowered Caregiver: Practical tips and Emotional support for Adult Children of Aging Parents.
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys: NAELA – how to find an Elder Law Attorney